Instafuck / Friends with benefits

Friends with Benefits

Friends with benefits means you expect the same adult more than once, and you are not asking for a relationship.

Say the repeat out loud

If you only say "casual", the other person gets to invent the rest. Say how often you can actually show up. Once a week is different from "when I feel like it", and both are allowed. What is not allowed is pretending you want a standing thing when you want one night. That belongs on one night stand websites.

• How often you can show up, in words you will keep.
• What you will not do: sleep over, meet friends, or text every day.
• Your age as a number.
• A public first meet, even if you already know you want a second time.

A benefit arrangement falls apart when one person starts writing morning texts the other person did not agree to. Put the off-limits list in the first message, not after the third meet. You can add a limit later. You cannot expect them to guess it.

Meet in public the first time even if you expect a second. Seeing them again is why you picked this. It is not a reason to skip that first hour. Say what the second time can include. Don't wait for the second meet to set the rules.

Money turns it into a different deal. Do not pay for the repeat, and do not ask them to pay you. If that is what they want, end the chat. A benefit is time, not a bill.

When it has stopped being casual

1. They ask for money, a gift, or help with a bill.
2. They push a sleepover or a trip you already refused.
3. They will not say their age.
4. You want out. A short no is enough. You do not owe a speech.

If nothing should repeat, say that on no strings attached instead. Friends with benefits is for when you do want the same person again and you are willing to say so.